


i'm back with scars to show

by whataboutmycape



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, M/M, PTSD, Psychological Torture, Torture, dominik's an asshole, potential trigger warning (?), sid isn't okay and he's shit at dealing with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-26 17:58:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whataboutmycape/pseuds/whataboutmycape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He curls his fists tighter and steps forward, but something stops him. The man’s full out grinning now, a mocking grin, and it makes Geno feel uneasy. Everything about the man unnerves him and makes him suspicious. He tries to shove it away, and takes another step. He stops there, though, when the man says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. red was never your color

**Author's Note:**

> so i blame this entirely on that imagineyourotp blog because they put a prompt up and then of course i started to write this. i don't know if i'll ever finish it, and there is a good probability that i won't, so keep that in mind if you start reading this. i know some people don't like to start reading things if they don't have an ending yet. 
> 
> since i don't want to completely spoil everything for you all before you read, i put the more detailed warnings in the end notes. as a general thing i will say, if you aren't comfortable with graphic descriptions of violence inflicted upon the major characters, then this story is not for you.

Geno wakes up cold and sore. There’s a chill reaching deep into his bones and the solid body-wide throb that usually only comes after a hard fought game. When he rolls over, he wishes he hadn’t, because it just hurts so much. His eyes are screwed up shut in pain, but they fly open when he hears loud, fast footsteps coming towards him. 

The room is dark, dark enough that he can’t see anything, and that throws him off. His heart is slamming against his chest and he feels dizzy, disoriented and off balance and seeing nothing but black. The footsteps slow, and then change direction. A bright overhead light snaps on and it makes Geno shy away. His eyes sting, so he closes them. 

He hears someone laughing. 

Geno’s eyes are open again and he shoots up, tense and scared. There is nothing familiar or okay sounding about that laugh- it only sounds cruel. His eyes take a while to adjust and he’s looking around wildly, trying to find the source of that horribly cruel noise. He just wants it to stop. 

There are footsteps behind him. Geno wrenches to his feet and turns around. The room is big, he notices, big enough that the corners still stay dark even with how bright the light in the middle is. Every wall including the ceiling is plain gray concrete, unforgiving and looming. There’s a man standing at the back. 

Geno can barely hear his breathing over the pounding in his chest. Instinctively, his hands curl into fists. The man laughs again. 

“Are you going to hit me?” He says, almost snidely. His voice is grating, low and high all at the same time. It cracks and hitches at weird times. It almost sounds like a broken accent, like he’s learned a new one without dropping the old and then another one on top of that.

Geno doesn’t answer. He stands up straight, tries to look bigger. It makes his whole body ache, but he can’t show that he’s hurting. 

The man tsks. “Oh, I had hoped you would’ve just cooperated.” He looks frustrated, but there’s still a smile on his lips. Geno wants nothing more than to beat it off. 

He curls his fists tighter and steps forward, but something stops him. The man’s full out grinning now, a mocking grin, and it makes Geno feel uneasy. Everything about the man unnerves him and makes him suspicious. 

He tries to shove it away, and takes another step. He stops there, though, when the man says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” 

Geno pulls his lips back in a snarl. He’s angry, and confused, and scared, and every word out of this man’s mouth makes him feel even worse. 

“You not me,” He says instead of taking another step. His throat feels raw and it comes out rougher than he intended. The man raises an eyebrow. 

“You are right, I’m not you.” He starts walking forwards, then. “But you will find that we are very similar, Evgeni.” 

Geno grits his teeth. “You know my name,” 

“The whole world knows your name,” The man counters. He’s still smiling, and it’s infuriating. 

“You know me. I not know you. Seem rude.” 

“Ah, yes, well,” The man waves a hand around. He stops in front of Geno, pauses for a second before saying, “My name is Dominik. You’ll have to excuse me for forgetting my manners,” 

“Where are we? Why we here?” 

“Impatient, are we? And here I thought we could have a little chat.” The man- Dominik- turns around and starts walking towards the back wall again. He motions for Geno to follow. “I guess we’ll just get started, then. Follow me,” 

Geno doesn’t move. Doesn’t think he can, really. He’s confused still and terrified, definitely. He doesn’t trust this man, doesn’t know anything about him other than a name, and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s snapped out of his thoughts by a harsh voice. 

“What’s the matter? Forget how to walk? I said follow me.” Dominik was facing him again, and he looked murderous. Geno’s stomach dropped, and his fists tightened. 

“Why? Why follow you? Where are we?” He wanted an answer to his question, he was tired already of the man turning him around and never giving him one. Geno didn’t want to listen to him, either. Why should he? 

“I was going to explain this to you later. But you’re proving to be more complicated a case than I thought.” Dominik sighed, sounding put upon. “You’re messing up all of my plans, I hope you’re happy with yourself. I worked hard on those.” 

Geno wasn’t given a chance to say anything. Domink was walking away again, but this time towards the wall to Geno’s left. He stopped in front of what looked like a fuse box next to a wide glass window and opened the cover. Geno saw him flick another switch. Nothing happened for a moment, and then a light came on on the other side of the glass. 

It was a window into another room. This one had white walls, and it was bare save for a chair in the middle. Sitting slumped forward in the chair was a man. Geno couldn’t make out much, standing as far away as he was, so he started to step forward. 

Geno’s halfway to the wall when Dominik speaks. 

“Recognize him yet, Evgeni?” He asks, and Geno balks. His heart clenches painfully and the only thought going through his head is a litany of please, no, it can’t be, please-

Dominik bangs on the glass. “Wake up, sleeping beauty!” He yells, and keeps the banging up until the man on the other side starts to move. His feet twitch, unable to move much from where they’re tied to the leg of the chair, and his shoulders start to shift. Geno watches him start to raise his head, and he thinks he might puke.

Geno's legs give out on him and he falls. His mind is rearing and his stomach is protesting beause he knows that man, knows him better than he knows himself sometimes, and no, please, why-

“G-Geno…?” 

Dominik is laughing now, watching him, but Geno isn’t paying attention to him. His eyes are trained on the glass, on that room, looking beyond the clear window and inside. He feels cold and sore and scared, and he doesn’t know what’s happening but he knows it isn’t good. His voice cracks. 

“Sid…” 

Geno takes in a shuddering breath, and he can see Sid struggling against the restraints bounding his arms and legs to the chair. Dominik clucks his tongue and reaches back into the fuse box. Geno tries to push himself to his feet, tries to yell out to Sid, tries to knock Dominik away-

He’s too late. 

Dominik hits a switch. Sid screams. Geno stumbles, and can’t get back up. He’s dizzy and off balance and- 

The last thing he hears is Sid scream his name.


	2. and a universal 'fuck you, too'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes a minute for the picture to adjust, but when it does, Geno makes a pained noise.
> 
> He can see Sid in the blurry picture, still slumped forward in that chair. There’s a cut straight across his cheek and dried blood caked across the side of his face. Despite that, though, Sid gives him half of a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to get this out! agh. anyway, hope you enjoy guys!

When Geno wakes up this time, the only thing he can hear is water dripping. He sits up slowly, his head throbbing and his vision spinning, and gingerly looks around.

He’s in a different room, now. This one is a lot smaller and not as daunting. Geno blinks the dizziness from his head and stands slowly.

A TV screen on the wall in front of him flickers to life. Geno jumps when Dominik’s face shows up.

“That was a long nap you took,” He’s grinning still, lips pointed up towards his slimy eyes. Geno thinks he hates him. “I thought you’d never wake up!”

“Where Sid?” Geno demands, clenching his hands uselessly into fists at his side. On the grainy screen, Dominik laughs.

“Is that boy all you worry about? You’ve got other things to focus on, Evgeni,”

Geno grits his teeth. “Where. Is. Sid.”

“Calm down, he’s right here. With me,” Dominik says, and turns to look at something off screen. Geno’s just about to yell again when the camera is moved to show what he’s looking towards.

It takes a minute for the picture to adjust, but when it does, Geno makes a pained noise.

He can see Sid in the blurry picture, still slumped forward in that chair. There’s a cut straight across his cheek and dried blood caked across the side of his face. Despite that, though, Sid gives him half of a smile.

“G-Geno….”

The camera shakes again for a moment, and then stills. Sid’s eyes widen and he squirms in the chair, trying to get away again. Geno starts to rush forward before he remembers that there’s nothing he can do.

Dominik comes on screen again. He steps up behind Sid, and he’s grinning wickedly as he knots a hand in Sid’s hair. Geno can see him pulling back, baring Sid’s throat to the camera. Sidney whimpers.  

There’s a _chink_ sound, and then the glint of metal draws Geno’s eyes to Dominik’s free hand. His heart stops.

In two seconds flat there’s a switchblade pressed against Sidney’s throat. Geno glares and runs forward again, hands grabbing at the monitor. He’s swearing and pleading and throwing curses and he doesn’t realize he’s speaking in Russian until he hears Dominik laughing again.

“What’s the matter, Evgeni? Afraid of a little blood?” Dominik clucks his tongue and Geno’s heart stops.

The blade moves away from Sid’s neck. Geno sucks in a ragged breath, only to let it out in a cry a second later when Dominik brings it down in a high arch, burying the switchblade in Sid’s left thigh. Sidney screams, but it’s drowned out by Dominik’s laughter.

Geno’s hands are shaking and his heart is beating so hard he can hear it in his own ears. He grits his teeth but before he can say anything, Dominik is talking again. With every word he says, he wiggles the knife and Sid lets out another scream.

“There’s two doors,” he says, in a singsong voice. “Pick one. Find your way through my maze, Evgeni, and do it quick,” He lets go of the switchblade and Sid whimpers.

“Why?”

Dominik raises an eyebrow. He shakes his head, and starts to chuckle again. “You wouldn’t want anything to happen to Sidney, would you?”

Geno barely has time to shake his head no before Dominik grins, wide and threatening. “Good,” is all he says, and then in one swift movement, pulls the switchblade out of Sid’s thigh. Geno sees Sid writhing in the chair, head thrown back in a pained yelp, before the screen goes black.

“Sid!” Geno’s stomach drops when nothing happens. The screen is now blank and lifeless, and it shows no signs of coming back to life anytime soon. Frustrated, Geno’s hands curl into fists and bang against the wall. He’s screaming bloody murder, angry and scared and upset.

He’s stopped when he hears someone yell his name. He’s stopped because that voice… sounds so familiar…. it sounds like…. like _Sid_.

“Geno!” It’s coming from the other side of the room and Geno scrambles to follow it. He stops short though when he sees the two doors that Dominik was talking about. He’s…. not too sure those were there when he woke up.

The doors are made out of heavy metal, the kind of doors you’d see in an office building or at a school. They’re each different colors- the one of the left is red with the words “EMERGENCY EXIT” painted above it. The other is a plain gray and lacks any writing.

Geno hesitates, and listens carefully. Tentatively, he calls out, “....Sid?”  

He gets a reply almost immediately. “Here! Here, I’m over here, Geno!” The sound seems to be coming from the door on the right, so Geno pushes against the gray door, looking around. Instead of Sid, he finds a dingy hallway, poorly lit and lined with closed doors on either side.

At this point, Geno is actively freaking the fuck out. He sucks in a ragged breath, and is about to call out to Sidney again when he hears a scream.

The sound makes Geno’s blood run cold. It sounds like Sid, and it’s coming from the end of the hall. Geno runs towards it, movements awkward and clumsy in his fear. He skids to a stop in front of the last door on the right side. When he leans close to it, Geno can hear sobbing on the other side. His chest tightens painfully.

Geno feels like he shouldn’t open the door. He feels like doing so will end badly for him, but the possibility of finding Sid outweighs his suspiciousness. So, despite his brain screaming at him to just run back, to run away and out of that red door all the way back in the first room that promised him an exit, he pushes the door in front of him open and calls out again for Sidney.

“G!” This room is bigger than any of the other ones, and the voice echoes back to him weirdly. When Geno looks around, the only thing he sees is a staircase tucked into the corner. It leads further down, and the way is too dark for Geno to see where it goes. He can hear someone at the bottom of the stairs calling his name.

With every step he takes across the room, Geno’s heart beats even louder in his chest. This feels like a scene straight out of a horror movie, some fake hollywood production made to scare. It doesn’t feel real. He doesn’t want it to be real. But Geno hasn’t woken up yet, and the possibility of this being just some fucked up nightmare conjured up by his brain is so slim. There’s no way he can rely on that, not when it comes to Sid. He can’t take the chance tha Sid could be hurt.

By the time Geno makes it to the staircase, the screams have turned into hiccuping sobs and his heart is beating so hard that he can’t even feel it anymore. He can’t feel anything.

He takes the steps one at a time.

They creak and groan ominously. The further Geno walks down, the darker it gets, and he can’t even see the steps in front of him anymore. So he goes down slowly, pressing his hands flat against the walls on either side of him, both looking for a lightswitch and trying to balence himself. He feels weirdly detached and off centered, like he isn’t controlling his own body. He thinks he’s going to be sick.

It’s quiet now, he can’t hear the voice- _Sid’s voice_ \- anymore and he tries not to worry. He just breathes as evenly as he can, and makes his way down the stairs. If his breath stutters or if he stumbles, well, there’s no one around to see him.

Geno jumps when he feels a shock of warm down his right arm. There isn’t really anywhere for him to go, though, so he crashes into the wall on his left and stumbles down a few steps, and all of a sudden he feels- warm and wet, there was something on the wall and he’s _soaked_ in it, his clothes clinging to his body and Geno doesn’t know what to do he can’t see anything, he doesn’t even know what the fuck is on him, what-

An overhead light flicks on. There’s the fizzle of electricity and a flicker of the light before it settles and Geno squints against the brightness, not used to it after stumbling through the dark for so long. When he’s eyes adjust he looks around, looks down at his hands to see what’s on him and-

Geno screams.

On the wall to his right, seemingly painted there in gory red, still dripping with how fresh it is, are words that Evgeni still remember to this very day.

_You’ll never get out._


	3. i hope you fucking burn in hell for this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s cold, so fucking cold, and Geno’s clothes are sticking to him, heavy with mostly dried blood (and Geno hates to think of where it came from, of what he’s covered in), tugging at his skin in weird places. He’s half tempted to just ditch them right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i don't know how i wrote this so fast. don't get your hopes up, chapters updates probs won't normally come this fast. 
> 
> anyway, hope you guys like it!

Geno is so fucking done. He’s tired, and hungry, and thirsty, and he’s fucking covered in blood, walking down this staircase that never. fucking. ends.

He’s so beyond fed up with all of this that he can’t even begin to describe it. The only reason he’s still walking is because of Sid, because he can’t leave Sid here. He can’t let that bastard hurt Sid. He has to find him, he has to get Sid out. He has to make sure Sid is safe.

Geno stumbles, and has to flail around to catch himself against the wall. He hears a staticy sound, and then a piercing shriek. He winces, folding in on himself while he covers his ears. He’s never heard such a sound of pure pain before, never heard someone scream like that. Geno’s heart is racing and the only thing he can think about right now is Sid. what if that’s Sid?

He starts to take the stairs two at a time. Geno has no idea where all this energy came from, but now he’s flying, sprinting down the steps like he’s doing training exercises at the rink. He could barely keep himself standing a second ago, but now-

Now he’s a man on a fucking mission, and he will plow through anything and anyone that gets in his way.

When Geno hits the end of stairs, he doesn’t realise it at first. He keeps trying to step down, but there is no down, only a flat surface and he can’t catch himself this time. He falls, face first, onto the concrete floor.

It’s cold, so fucking cold, and Geno’s clothes are sticking to him, heavy with mostly dried blood (and Geno hates to think of where it came from, of what he’s covered in), tugging at his skin in weird places. He’s half tempted to just ditch them right here.

But that would take too long. He doesn’t have time to strip the stiff, sticky clothing off, not when he has to find Sid. He can hear someone crying, it’s so loud, it sounds so close. He can hear sobs that sound so familiar, that remind him of the days during the worst of both their injuries, when Geno felt so broken he didn’t think he could ever get off the couch and Sid was thinking about never playing again. His heart hurts, heavy with memories. It beats hard and fast, for Sid. Sid, who sounds so impossibly close, and Geno could be with him again if only he could just...

When Geno manages to push himself off of the floor, he gets a chance to look around at where he is. He’s at the start of a long hallway, and the only way out he sees other than going back up the stairs is a wooden door at the end. It’s propped open slightly, and that’s where the crying is coming from, and the possibility that Sid might be in that room is too great for Geno to bother thinking about it. He just runs.

Only, when he shoves through the door, it isn’t Sid that Geno finds in the room. No, instead, Dominik is there, smug look on his face, sitting at the head of a rectangular wooden table. Geno feels sick.

He can still hear someone sobbing, can still hear those cries, so loud now. It sounds like- like whoever’s crying is yelling his name, yelling Geno, Geno, over and over again. There’s a tape recorder sitting in the middle of the table. Geno’s knees give out on him.

He’s so, so fucking done.

“Not bad, for your first test,” Dominik chuckles. Geno’s blood runs cold. “We’ll have to improve that, though. No worries,” he grins, all teeth, sharp and menacing. “Practice does make perfect, doesn’t it, Evgeni?”

Geno bares his teeth in answer. Dominik clucks his tongue and stands.

“Now, now. You need to learn how to mind your manners, Evgeni,” he scowls, but a second later his face splits into a blinding grin. “I know just how to teach you! It’ll be so effective!” Geno watches, then, as Dominik walks around the table and picks up the small tape recorder. When he turns it around, Geno can see that it’s been altered and there’s a different set of buttons that’s been added onto the back. Dominik’s finger hovers over the button in the upper right corner.

Geno’s eyes narrow, knowing that a press of those buttons will mean nothing good for him. Nothing that involves Dominik has been good for him so far. He doesn’t think that this is going to change any time soon.

“Now, Evgeni. Let’s try this again. You’re going to practice until you improve, yes? You will become the best you can be at solving my games?” There’s a glint in Dominik’s eyes that makes Geno’s stomach churn uncomfortably.  

“I don’t take orders from you,”Geno spits out, lips curled back in disgust. “I will not do,”

Dominik laughs. Geno’s stomach twists at the sound.

He presses the button.

There’s a loud, staticky yelp that jumps through the tape recorder and Geno jumps in surprise. His face must show how horrified he looks because the next thing he knows, Dominik is laughing at him, full bellied and shoulders shaking with it. There’s a sound of sobbing coming through the recorder and Geno doubles over, hands pulling fiercely hard at his hair. How could he have been so stupid?

“Sid, Sid, Sid, I sorry, Sid,” how could he have forgotten that Dominik could still do that? That he still had power over Evgeni because he could still hurt Sid? Sid’s hurt, and crying again, and it’s all Geno’s fault now, all because he can’t play nice- because he can’t follow directions.

“Stupid, stupid, so stupid Sid, I sorry, sorry, Sid, so sorry…”

Dominik rolls his eyes from where he’s standing, watching Evgeni fall apart on the floor. He tosses the tape recorded towards the table, where it lands with a loud clang.

“Fool.” The word is hissed out between clenched teeth. “This is pathetic. Get off the floor,” he’s glaring at Geno now, eyes trained on the slumped man. When Geno doesn’t move, Dominik lets out a frustrated sigh. “You really never listen do you? Up! I said up!”

Geno struggles to listen to what Dominik is saying, the only thing in his mind right now is a rush of Sid and guilt and pain. His hands slip against the floor when he tries to push himself up, and he falls. Dominik kicks him, yelling at him to hurry up, that there were more tests to run through, and Geno crumples.

He can’t do this. He can’t- not again- please, no- Sid-

Dominik grabs his arm and pulls him up and Geno’s shoved into a dark, dark room. It’s cold, and the only sound is his breathing. When he turns around Dominik is gone, and the door is locked. He can’t get out.

Behind the wall, he can hear the staticky sound of Sid screaming.


	4. by the time you hear this i'll already be gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geno was supposed to save him. He promised he would always be there, he told Sid that he would never let anything happen to him. Geno said he would never lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh  
> i'm not very happy with this chapter, but i'm posting it anyway because i already have the next chapter pretty much done and i want to get that one up so after rewriting this pretty much a hundred times, i just decided to post it  
> that being said, this is almost done! there's really only one more chapter, and then maybe some more snippets about what happens after?  
> anyways, read on!

Geno can’t see anything. The only thing in front of him is spiraling pitch blackness and his ears are ringing with the power of such a sudden silence. His knees give out on him and he crumbles to the cold floor, his hands tugging hard on his hair. His head is spinning and it’s impossible for him to try and understand what’s happening. Nothing makes sense, why is this happening? What did he do to deserve this?

“Oh, Evgeni. So oblivious. You haven’t figured it out yet?” Dominik’s voice comes through loud and clear, and Geno straightens up, looking around wildly and trying to figure out where it’s coming from. He still can’t see through the darkness, it’s too thick and unyielding for anything to be visible. He hears Dominik laughing, and Geno grits his teeth and pushes himself up to his feet.

“Where are you? Tell me why you are doing this!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Dominik says, his words condescending. Geno never thought he could develop such a strong hatred for someone he’s only just met, but it seems that this one man is proving him wrong.

There’s a beat of silence, and Geno’s just about start yelling again when he hears a bang, and then Dominik is once again laughing. Geno’s heart feels like a stone in his chest, weighing him down with a sinking sense of fear that has become far too familiar.

“Just think a little, Evgeni. What are you doing in your life that people would not be happy about? The Motherland, maybe?”

Geno’s blood runs cold. He feels light headed and shaky and the only thing he can think is _no, no, they can’t know, that’s impossible, no, Sid-_

“It looks like someone’s caught on,” Dominik says, and Geno can tell just from the way that the words sound that he’s smiling. That he feels a sick sense of joy from tearing Geno’s life apart at it’s very seams. Geno feels absolutely broken.

“You two aren’t as careful as you think, you know. I’m doing this to teach you a lesson. You two… what you feel, it’s filthy. You should be ashamed.”

Geno grits his teeth and tries to bite his tongue against everything he wants to say, tries to hold back all the slurs and curses he wants to throw out. Dominik clucks his tongue, and starts to speak again.

“Just imagine what your mother thinks of you. Such a shame, such talent wasted on a _fag_. There’s a reason no one in the league has come out yet, fool. Your kind is not welcome on this planet, let alone on our ice.”

Geno snarls, and Dominik laughs. He feels sick.

“You know, your little… _boyfriend_ can be very feisty. He doesn’t know how to just let things go. He still hasn’t learned that fighting back does him no good.” Dominik clucks his tongue, and Geno freezes.

“Sid… _What did you do to Sid!_ ” Geno is screaming now, he’s angry and it’s obvious, and it only makes Dominik laugh again.

"Let’s just say… he won’t be played hockey for a while. Sid the Kid may be… retiring soon.” And that- that’s the breaking point for Geno.  

“You shut up! чертовски сука! Гори в аду за это! Я убью тебя! Когда я найду тебя, я убью тебя за это! Как ты смеешь так говорить? Как ты смеешь повредил Сидни и думаю, что вы можете уйти с ним?” Geno’s yelling now, screaming out into the darkness of the room. His hands are curled into fists so tight that his fingernails are making half moon cuts on his palms. He is spewing his hate out to an empty room, those last words the thing that broke him, wishing that he had Dominik in front of him now. Wishing that he could make him hurt in all the ways that Geno does.

“Such a fool. You’re always letting your temper get the better of you.” Dominik tsks at him like a disapproving teacher. “You’re so angry now, that you forget. You have a task to do, and now I’m timing you. Get back to work, Evgeni.” He stops, and lets out a chuckle. “Do make me proud.” There’s a definite click, and Geno knows then that he is alone. Dominik will talk to him no more.

He has to find a way out.

It takes Geno a little while to find the door that he came through. He didn’t realize how much he moved around when he was angry, and his outburst made him drift further away from where he came in than he initially realized. He tries it, but isn't really surprised to find it locked. It seems to be bolted from the other side. So he hugs the wall, and shuffles around, trying to find a switch or something so that he'd be able to actually see the room he's in.

His fingers finally caught on a plastic switch, and he flipped it eagerly. There was a second of silence, and then a growing whirring sound. One by one, over head lights in the room began to snap on. As far as Geno could see, there were no other doors in the rooms, just the one he came in through. The room was extremely cluttered, which was different, considering everywhere else had been empty. There were stacks of what looked like shipping pallets and boxes, and the ceilings were high. The room was long, Geno couldn’t see the other end from where he was standing. It looks like a garage, or something like that. A storage area.

Geno has no fucking clue what he’s supposed to do.

He starts pushing boxes around, looking for something, anything, that could help him get out. Whenever he opens any of the boxes they’re always empty of anything useful, instead filled to the brim with either packing peanuts or blank sheets of paper. Geno has absolutely no clue what any of it means.

For a lack of a better plan, Geno just starts shoving all of the stacks of boxes and pallets against the walls, clearing out the middle of the room and scoping out what he couldn’t see before. He still hasn’t found a door, or anything else of any interest, and he’s getting frustrated. Nothing makes sense anymore, not that it did even in the first place.

Geno heaves a sigh and just collapses. His limbs feel too heavy to even move and his heart is beating so loud that it’s the only thing he hears. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he drops his head into his hands and he feels how wet his cheeks are.

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” he huddles in on himself, and now he’s outright sobbing. “Sorry, Sid, so sorry. Can’t save, can’t save you…”

Everything feels like it’s crushing him and Geno feels hopeless to fight against it. There is no way out of this room, no way for him to survive this. If he can’t get out, then he can’t save Sid.

Fuck, Sid.

Geno doesn’t even know where Dominik is keeping him, doesn’t even know if Sid is still alive and that fucking scares him. He’s tried to not think about it, not since that first room, when he woke up and Sid was on the other side of the glass. He looked so fragile.

Geno was supposed to save him. He promised he would always be there, he told Sid that he would never let anything happen to him. Geno said he would never lie.

“ _No_ ,” Geno scrubs fiercely at his eyes. “No, no, he won’t _win_.” He curls his hands into fists, grits his teeth. “I won’t let him.”

When he looks up, Geno sees something he didn’t see before. He could almost throw up in a mixture of shock and relief.

There’s a trapdoor carved into the floor. Geno stumbles and trips his way to it and flips it open. Without thinking, he drops inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> чертовски сука! Гори в аду за это! Я убью тебя! Когда я найду тебя, я убью тебя за это! Как ты смеешь так говорить? Как ты смеешь повредил Сидни и думаю, что вы можете уйти с ним? - Fucking bitch! Burn in hell for this! I will kill you! When I find you, I will kill you for this! How dare you say that? How dare you hurt my Sidney and think you can get away with it?


	5. i will soon forget the color of your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, he hasn’t even asked about you?” Dominik raises an eyebrow and Geno doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. “Sidney. It’s almost like he…. doesn’t even care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry

The room Geno drops into is already lit. It’s not bright, but he can see his way around. He landed awkwardly on his arm, and he winces, cursing as he tries to push himself off the floor.

Someone’s laughing at him, again, and Geno scowls.

“Look at you. You’re almost as pathetic as the other one,” Dominik rolls his eyes. “I suppose I could forgive you, though. You solved you last problem quickly.” There’s a scuffle, and a sound of metal scraping against metal. Dominik heaves out a loud sigh. “Now, get up, before I change my mind.”

Geno glares, and there’s anger flowing through his veins. He grits his teeth together and all but growls at the man standing over him. He wants to stand, to come up to the same height as him, to look him in the eyes. Geno wants to show him what real pain is, wants to show Dominik what he’s been feeling.

When he tries, though, he falls back against the unforgiving concrete floor. Geno smashes his fist against the cement and chokes off a scream. He can’t put any weight on his left leg, or his left wrist. There’s blood coming from somewhere, pooling on the floor underneath him. Geno doesn’t feel hurt, though.

Dominik looks disgusted.

“I wonder if he saw you like this… would your precious Sidney try and save you?” Geno grits his teeth instead of answering, and Dominik just shakes his head. “No wonder he doesn’t want to be seen with you. You really are pathetic, Evgeni.”

Geno’s teeth nash together and he can taste blood in his mouth but he’s beyond caring. He tries to get up again, but this time he just falls even harder. He wants to scream in frustration. Dominik just looks pitying now, and Geno hates it. He hates everything about this man, but he hates his eyes especially, how above all eyes all Geno can see in them is a condescending look, like even the scum on the bottom of his shoes is better than Geno is.

“You know, he hasn’t even asked about you?” Dominik raises an eyebrow and Geno doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. “Sidney. It’s almost like he…. doesn’t even _care_.”

"Shut up!” Geno’s right hand knots in his hair and tugs. He knows what this is about, Dominik is just trying to mess with him, he’s just trying to get in his head-

“It’s true, Evgeni!” Dominik is grining. It’s a dirty grin, and he follows it up with dirty words. “It seems to me he wouldn’t even care if you died. He was going to leave without you, he told me so.”

“You _lie_!” Geno’s voice has gone dangerously close to frantic and Dominik is taking advantage of it. Geno almost doesn’t notice the gun.

“Just accept it, Evgeni. He doesn’t care about you. He never did.” Dominik brings it up slowly, finger resting right under the trigger.

“You’re lying, Sid would never- he would _never-_ ” If Geno had looked up, he would have been staring down the barrell of a gun.

Dominik’s finger is on the trigger now.

“Oh, Evgeni. If only someone loved you enough to save you.”

*

The body is harder to move then he thought it was going to be. That’s okay, though, he doesn’t mind. The end is greater than the means, or so they say. Dominik cannot wait to see the reaction he gets for his efforts. He is sure that he will not be disappointed.

When Sid wakes up, he feels different. It takes him a second to figure out that it’s because he’s been untied, and he had fallen out of the chair he was bound to. He looks around, heart beating wildly out of his chest, expecting to see Dominik standing above him. He expects to be- to be cut, or burned, or stabbed, electrocuted. Instead, Dominik is gone, and all he sees is a body slumped in the corner. Sid stares and his throat goes dry because… because…

"Geno…?" Sid can’t believe that’s his voice, so cracked and weak sounding, but it is. His only focus right now, though, is Geno. He stumbles to his feet, falling and falling, before finding purchase against the wall. It takes him a while, shuffling awkwardly, limping against the pain in his right leg.

He feels broken, but his heart is fluttering wildly in his chest because _that’s Geno_ , and if Geno’s here…

If Geno’s here, then that means this must all be over. They’ll be okay.

When he makes it to the corner, Sid drops to his knees. His hands are shaking when they reach out to grab at Geno’s shoulder, shaking him and calling out his name, _Geno, Geno, G, please, Geno._ He tugs, then, a little harder, and Geno rolls over towards him.

Sid screams.

There’s blood everywhere, down Geno’s face and soaking his shirt and now it’s on Sid’s hands, and Geno- Geno has a bullet hole in his head and he’s dead and Sid wails because this isn’t _fair_. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to be together, to grow old together, buy a home, start a family, they were supposed to do it together and now they can’t.

Sid screams because none of this makes sense, _none of it_. Why them? Of all the people _why them_? Why did they have to be here, why did Geno have to die? Sid could live a thousand lifetimes but he’ll never know why Geno died for him, why he was even willing to. They were supposed to have the rest of their lives together, but now they have _nothing._

Sid is still screaming when they find him.

Dominik is never found.


	6. does it cost too much to speak?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid’s crying. The needle shakes onto 120. 
> 
> Everything is silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the sake of the story, disregard the fact that the penguins did not have a home game against the blackhawks  
> to be completely honest, just disregard any mention of the NHL timeline in this story because i am bullshitting my way through dates of games and everything in this  
> nothing is accurate and everything hurts  
> ugh  
> anyway  
> this chapter is shit because the ending was rushed and i didn't even read through the whole thing, honestly, so it's probably spelling and grammar errors galore, so i am so sorry for you guys who are actually reading this  
> hopefully you like it anyway?  
> ALSO ALSO ALSO  
> i have updated the warning tags for the whole story so please please please be sure to look at those again! i know i've been horrible at tagging things prior to this chapter, and i'm sorry!

Sid hits the ice for a game barely a month after he comes back home.

In hindsight, it really was too soon. He knew that, he knew that he needed time, but he was just so stubborn. He didn’t want to admit how badly everything fucked him up. He didn’t want to be seen as _weak._

Sidney’s first game back is against the Blackhawks. It’s a home game, and CONSOL is even louder when he steps onto the ice than he remembers it. When he skates out, he does a lap and everyone is on their feet for him. Sid smiles, small and sad, and nods to the crowd before saluting the 71 banner hanging in the rafters. It still hurts to see it hanging there now, so much sooner than it should be. Sid always knew Pittsburgh would retire Geno’s number, he just never thought it would hurt so much to see it. Nealsy skates by and bumps his shoulder.

Sid is on the blue line, leaning against the boards by the Pens penalty box when he hears a voice that freezes the blood in his veins.

“Crosby, it is good to see you on ice again.” Marian Hossa is grinning at Sid but Sid isn’t even looking at him, he physically _can’t_ , his eyes are squeezed shut and his hands are gripping his stick so hard he’s afraid the wood will shatter. There’s blood rushing in his ears, pulse pounding too fast to be healthy, and all Sid can feel is a paralysing sense of fear. There are memories running through his head and he’s stuck back in that room, tied down. He can’t get back to reality, can’t get out of those damn restraints.

_ “Don’t waste your breath screaming for him,” A harsh laugh, and then, “He’s never going to save you.” _

Sid tastes blood and realizes he’s been biting his lip. There’s a phantom pain in his leg. He takes in a ragged breath and hears Hossa asks, tentatively, “....Sid?” and he realizes that what he’s thinking must be written all over his face because now Duper has skated over and he’s hanging onto the bench next to Sid and Hossa looks like he’s approaching a spooked animal. Toews and Nealsy are skating over and Flower is stuck at the other end of the ice looking seconds away from saying fuck it, dumping his stick and and helmet and hauling ass over to the boards.

Sid feels like he can’t breathe.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry, I’m fine, I just-” Sid is gasping now, trying to breathe in and speak at the same time and he is barely accomplishing either of those right now and his heart is just beating so fast, he swears he can see it, even through all his gear.

_ “You bleed so easily,” The rope burns against Sid’s wrists. He’s openly weeping now, has been for a while. He’s tired himself out, and he thinks bitterly that that was Dominik’s plan. “If only I were an artist. I could gut you and then make such a pretty picture with all of it. The world would remember both you and I, then.”  _

Duper puts a hand on his shoulder and says something, probably just asking Sid if he was okay, and Sid screams. He whirls around, stick up like he's going to smash someone with it, and he almost does, almost slams it into Duper without thinking, and he's terrified, screaming "Don't come near me, don't touch me, leave me alone, _stop_ ," and-

Duper has his hands up now, eyes wide. He dropped his stick and he’s leaning back into the bench and everyone’s looking at him.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," Sid breaks. He's horrified, with himself and his actions and the thoughts in his head, he feels horrified that he almost hurt someone, almost hurt _Duper_. Sid freezes and realizes the wide berth around him, the looks on all their faces. It's a mix of pity and disgust and Sid just feels so angry about everything, angry that he can't keep himself in check. He got lost in his head and forgot where he was. Nealsy is skating towards him then, slow, and he looks so much like he's trying to soothe a scared animal. Sid is shaking.

“It’s okay, Sid. No one is going to hurt you,” Nealsy says it slow, and he’s still inching forward, and he looks like he’s trying to be so careful and Sid just feels _pissed off._

“I fucking _know,_ ” He growls through gritted teeth, bringing his stick back down. Nealsy stops in his tracks and Sid nearly snarls. “What are you gonna tell me next, captain fucking obvious? I’m crazy?” Nealsy opens and closes his mouth and he looks like a stupid fish. Sid laughs, and it’s twisted and cruel and he hates himself for sounding that way. “FUCK!”

Sid whips his stick against the boards. It shatters on impact.

He’s thrown out of the game before it even starts.

Sid doesn't stick around the locker room. He strips out of his gear angrily and shoves himself into a pair of sweats and a shirt, goes out the back way to avoid the reporters who are, no doubt, eating this up. He's out of CONSOL and into his car in record time and after that he's just driving.

The silence is deafening. Sid grits his teeth and punches on the radio, and it starts blasting some pop song. His foot presses a little harder on the gas. Sid doesn’t know where he’s going, he’s just driving away, away, _away._

Sid watches Pittsburgh pass by his car window and tries to feel something. He tries to care. All he can muster up is a bone deep feeling of numbness, now, and Sid hates himself for it. His knuckles are white on the steering wheel and now that he’s out of the city, his foot is pressed all the way down on the gas.

Sid feels like he’s pulling strings, trying to stir something in him, a feeling, a memory, something. Something that will make him feel anything other than this crippling _nothing_. His fingers curl tighter around the steering wheel. Sid’s jaw is clenched.

Nothing happens, and Sid wonders what a highway barrier would do to a car if it crashed head first going at 120 miles per hour.

His fingers twitch. His wrists ache with the urge to turn the wheel.

The speedometer reads 95. Sid presses his foot down more and watches the needle move.

_ He never cared about you, left you to die. He left you for me to kill. _

The radio is still on, but the engine gunning is the only thing Sid hears. The speedometer reads 110.

_ You’re so fucking weak. Pathetic.  _

_Shut your mouth, fucking_ fag.

Sid’s crying. The needle shakes onto 120.

Everything is silent.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A SECOND AND APOLOGIZE TO MARIAN HOSSA BECAUSE BIG HOSS IS NOT A BAD GUY AT ALL HE IS A WONDERFUL PERSON BUT IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT WHEN I MADE DOMINIK IN MY HEAD HE HAD THE TYPE OF ACCENT HOSS HAS AND SO I WAS A MEANIE AND WROTE THAT HOSSA'S ACCENT TRIGGERED MEMORIES OF DOMINIK FOR SID AND I'M SORRY


	7. a lion still has claws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid tries to figure things out and the Dupuis family is there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry it's been so long i didn't really know where i wanted to go with this so i held off from writing this chapter for a while  
> i don't know how much more i'm going to write for this, because i don't really have an idea for this anymore... maybe one or two more chapters just to wrap it up?  
> thank you all so much for sticking with this for so long, normally when i start chaptered stories i never get past the second or third chapter, and it's amazing to me that i managed to get to the seventh chapter of this without quitting on it  
> it's always amazing to me that people read this and like it and it's just so great, i love all of you, thank you so much for giving me the encouragement to work on this and get as far as i did 
> 
> ugh okay sappy moment over, now time for me to break your hearts again because i can only write sad things, apparently

Its 3 am and Sid is throwing up on the side of the highway.

His phone is laying next to him and he doesn't remember calling anyone but he must've, because the next thing he knows Duper is there, crouching down next to him and rubbing his back. Sid looks up and tries to say something but he ends up just whimpering pathetically. Duper doesn't say anything, he just helps Sid to stand up. Sid tries to say something again, tries to apologize, or to explain, he doesn't really know, but the only thing that comes out is a jumbled up mess of words that even he can't make out. 

"It's alright, Sid." Duper says softly, helping Sid into his car. Sidney crumples into himself and just sighs. Duper closes the door and rounds the car to get in on the drivers side. 

Sidney wakes up in an unfamiliar room with  pounding headache and an ache in his back. He freaks out for about a minute until he hears kids laughing, and someone yelling, and it's voices that Sid recognizes from spending days and dinners and games around them. He falls back onto the bed with a groan and tries to disappear under the covers. He feels like shit, to put it bluntly, and he really doesn't want to get out of bed. Especially now that he's starting to remember the reasons for the aches in his body and the morbid feeling in his chest. 

Duper doesn't let him off easy, though. He cracks the door open not long after Sid has woken up and sends Zoe in the room. As soon as she sees Sidney she yells his name, running over to the bed as fast as she can and pulling at the comforter to try and climb up. 

"Woah! Easy there," Sidney chuckles, reaching out to lift her up and set her on the bed next to him. She grins at him, a happy smile showing off the gaps where her baby teeth are falling out.  Sid doesn't feel quite so shitty anymore. 

"Daddy says breakfast is done," She says, reaching up to pat at his cheeks. "Eat!" 

Sidney laughs and just says, "Okay," before he picks her up and carries her into the kitchen. Duper is standing in front of the stove, poking at a pan of bacon. Zoe sees Lola sitting at the table with a coloring book spread out in front of her and a huge box of crayons and starts squirming in Sid's arms, so he moves  a little quicker and sets her down in the chair next to Lola.

"The coffee machines on and I'm making pancakes, what kind do you want?" Duper says without turning around, stilll focused on the stove. Sid leans against the counter next to him and hums.

"Whatever you're making is fine." Duper nods, and flips off the burner that he had the bacon on.

"Get me a plate?" He asks, and Sid reaches behind him into the cabinet where he knows the Dupuis' keep their  china. He holds it out silently while Dupur loads the bacon on it. Sid sets it on the table and laughs when Zoe and Lola very quickly abandon their coloring for the food. 

The rest of breakfast goes by smoothly. Sid sits next to Lola and cuts up her chocolate chip pancakes for her when she asks and Duper doesn't mention anything about yesterday in front of the kids. Sid feels a lot better once he gets some food in his stomach and a cup of coffee or two in his system.

Sid is sitting on the floor in the Dupuis' living room with Lola in his lap and Zoe next to him watching Finding Nemo when Carol-Lyne comes through the front door in a flurry of shopping bags and excited children's chatter. It all stops for a second when Meava and Kody see him, sitting crossed legged on the carpet, looking back at them like a deer in the headlights. 

"Sid!" And he barely gets a chance to brace himself before they're running at him full force. Kody jumps on his shoulders and Meave thumps into his side and Sid tips over with a loud 'oof!' 

Carol-Lyne is laughing loudly at him. 

It takes a couple songs on Guitar Hero and about ten minutes of Adventure Time for the kids to lose interest in him, and Sid slips out of the lving room and into the kitchen thankfully. Carol-Lyne and Duper are both sitting at the table and when he comes in Duper nods to the empty seat across from them. 

Sid takes a deep breath and sits down. 

"How have you been, Sid?" Carol-Lyne says, her voice soft and quiet. She sounds comforting, and Sidney sags in his chair. 

"I... I don't know." He sucks in a rattled breath, thinking about the past month. It's a lie. He does know. He's been horrible. Carol-Lyne just nods, and says, "That's okay," but Sid knows it isn't. 

"You know we worry about you, Sid. The whole team does." Duper isn't looking at him, he's looking down at the table, but he sounds serious in a way that Sid isn't used to associating with Duper.  

Sidney doesn't know what to say. He just nods silently and tries not to flinch when Carol-Lyne reaches across the table to rest her hand ontop of his. 

"We just want to make sure you're okay, Sidney." And they both just look so worried, and so honest, and Sid figures that he should at least try. He pulls his knees up to his chest and takes a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry I never talked to you guys when I came back. I didn't really talk to anyone..." When Sidney pauses, Carol-Lyne squeezes his hand. Duper is looking up now, and Sid finds himself unable to look either of them in the eyes. "I thought... I thought it was all my fault. I blamed myself for what happened." Sidney looks over and sees Duper tense up. Carol-Lyne is rubbing her thumb in circles on the back of his hand. "I didn't talk to any of the guys because I thought you guys blamed me, too. I thought you all hated me," He's almost whispering now, too scared to say it because he doesn't want Duper to confirm his fears as the truth. 

Duper stands up so fast his chair screeches against the floor and Sid flinches so hard he almost falls off his chair. As is, he bangs his knees against the table top and curls up into a ball so tight that he can't see anything, face burrried in his arms. He can't breathe, can't think, and he's choking on his fear. He's just sorry, so sorry, fuck, don't be mad, i'm sorry- 

Sidney doesn't realize he's saying everything outloud until he feels a hand on his shoulder and Duper's next to him and all Sid can hear is him saying, "Breahte, Sid, you're okay, it's alright, just breathe." 

It feels like he sits there forever trying to calm down enough to uncurl from his ball. Sidney doesn't remember it being this hard. Fuck, he's  _so screwed._


	8. we deserve much better than we've had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid bites his lip and signs the paper. The lady across the desk smiles brightly at him. Sid's heart is hammering in his chest. He wishes Geno was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh geez. it's been so long. this is just a final wrap up chapter for this story. some time skips, to show Sid's life from the end of the last chapter up for the next few years of recovery.

Sidney's been leaving with the Lemiuex's again ever since he came back. The house is never empty, and that's good for him. Mario and Nathalie are amazing to him, and the kids became the best distraction he could ask for. 

After the night he spent at Duper's house after he was ejected from his first game back, Sid talked to Mario about seeing a counselor. Through the Pens network, Sid met Maria. She was a kind, middle aged woman who reminded Sid a lot of his mom when he was growing up. It was a comfort for him, and she helped him through a couple months full of sessions. 

It was never perfect, but it worked. 

* 

Sid gets back on the ice for Training Camp of the 2016-2017 season. He hits the ice hard, and blows all the articles about him out of the water. Since his last incident with Hossa, every article painted him as a ticking time bomb that the Pens just didn't need around. Everyone assumed that his bubble of potential had popped. Sid, well. He always relishes proving the media wrong. 

* 

Sid still makes a visit to Mr. and Mrs. Malkin every summer. He makes a point to spend a week or two of his time in Magnitogorsk, catching up with them. Sasha always manages to find his way into town, and it's become a tradition for them to rent out a local rink for the day, and invite the recreation league kids out to skate with them. It's always a fun day for them, getting to see all of the children and play with them. Sometimes Denis will join them, and share the games that he and Geno used to play. They all go home, exhausted, but happy. Sid wouldn't miss it for the world. 

* 

It's been five summers since Geno passed away. 

Sidney's in Russia for his yearly visit, and originally the grounds for visiting the orphanage were PR related. 

Now, Sidney is sitting alone in a room with a kind young woman sitting in the desk across from him. She offers him a pen, and Sidney takes it. 

With shaking hands, he signs the pages in front of him, initials them in the boxes like the woman pointed out to him. When he straightens up, she beams at him. 

Sidney gives her a wobbly smile back. His heart is slamming in his chest, a mile a minute. 

*

He's talked about it, is the thing. 

Tentatively, with Maria. When she encouraged him, before he left Pittsburgh for the summer, Sidney talked about it extensively with Mario. He talked about it with both of his parents when he swung up to Cole Harbor for a visit. He talked about it with Taylor, and Flower over Skype. He talked about it with first Mr. Malkin, and then Mrs. He's even talked about it with Sasha. 

He's still nervous. 

None of them tried to talk him out of it, they did quite the opposite, in fact. He still can't help but doubt himself. 

* 

The woman takes the papers, picks them up and taps them on the desk, straightening them out. She promptly stands and says, "You can bring her him today, Mr. Crosby. Do you want me to walk you to her?" 

Throat dry, Sidney just nods. 

* 

Anya Pushkin Alkaev is the best little girl that Sidney could ever have asked for. 

He adopts her when she's five, and she turns six while they're still in Russia. The Malkin's throw a party for her, and Sidney cries. Mrs. Malkina holds him tight and helps him with her for the rest of his stay. 

He brings her to Cole Harbor, to spend the rest of the summer and to meet his parents. She takes to them immediately, and within a second they are both wrapped entirely around her little finger. Sidney's heart aches when he watches them with her, spoiling her to no end. Taylor is enamored with her, and the two of them are inseparable. Sidney almost feels bad saying they have to leave again for Pittsburgh, but Anya clears all of that with her pure excitement to see another new place. 

Sidney tells Anya stories about her Papa. He shows her his Jersey, hanging high in the rafters of CONSOL. He shows her the pictures he has at home, and all the other memories they have collected. He tells her how much he would have loved her, and he much she would have loved him. 

The first time he takes her on to the ice, she is a ball of fierce energy. She makes herself big, and sets her targets. Sidney swears she skates like Geno taught her. 

The team laughs the first time they see her skate. They call her the Mini-Bully, and get her a jersey made. Sidney scowls, tells them not to encourage her, but Anya lights up. The jersey quickly becomes her favorite thing, and it's almost all she'll ever wear. And really, how can Sidney be made when he sees the smile on her face? 

* 

Some days, Sidney still struggles to get out of bed. 

Those are the days where he sleeps past both of his alarms, and nothing gets done. He forgets to take Anya to school, and she'll pad in to his room and ten to nine, sleepy eyed and climbing onto Sidney's bed to cuddle. 

On those days, Sidney swears he can feel the ache in his chest of the scoots over, raises his covers in an invitation and helps her up. They take the day and spend it together, and god, Sidney wishes Geno was there. 

He longs for the warmth and the love, but the ache isn't so bad anymore. He's soothed it, by letting the team back in, and letting his family back in, and by letting Anya in. And although these days used to be his worst, now they can turn out to be some of his bests.

**Author's Note:**

> Two characters are kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. Character A is tied up and kept locked away in a small room while Character B is forced to complete puzzles and and demented games by the killer. If they do not complete the game or puzzle fast enough (or at all) Character A will take the punishment for it and Character B has to watch it happen while not being able to do anything.


End file.
